I Want a Baby but I am Young London

"I'm 19 years old and, for three years, I really wanted a baby with my boyfriend. The past couple of months I have been dreaming about having a baby and it has made me so happy and I have spoken to my boyfriend and he says he wants one too, but I don't feel as if my boyfriend is ready. He says he is but I just feel as if he's agreeing because his friends have got babies and he thinks it will be easy and is the in thing. I can't help thinking about having a baby but I dont want to let my family down as I have applied to go to university next year."

Anna says: What other people think of you, now or in the future, should have no relevance over what you want to do with your life and how you choose to live it. So remove those thoughts from head right this minute. What’s important is figuring out what you want and how you will achieve this. If your intuition is telling you that your boyfriend isn’t ready to become a parent I would hazard a guess that you feel he lacks the sort of maturity that features in your idea of what parenting is all about. If this is the case then you have almost answered your own question yourself.

Although you may be feeling like a real woman, the reality is that you still have a lot of valuable learning to do before becoming one. This doesn’t necessarily mean furthering your education but accepting that being a parent is about more than dreaming about having a baby. It is about acknowledging all the practical aspects of nurturing and supporting another human being. Do you feel ready and capable of physically, emotionally and financially supporting a child?

There is nothing wrong in indulging in your dreams of having a child, but that doesn’t mean that you have to make that dream a reality at this precise moment in time. Put your desires on hold for while and concentrate on nurturing the child within you, before you devote the next 20 years of your life to providing that for a child of your own. When the time is truly ready for you to become a parent you will be better equipped to deal with everything that responsible position demands.

Useful information
Teen parents
Parenting as a teenager
Adjusting to university life

Anna Martin is a qualified life coach and also an experienced listener to people's problems. If you would like a confidential consultation on personal coaching, you can contact her at mylifesupport.com .

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