I Have My Eye on Someone at Work Longridge

"I have been in a relationship for 10 years - the last seven have been verbally abusive and ended with threats and actual violence 18 months ago. I left him, as much for my sake as for the kids, in May last year but allowed him access to the kids whenever he wanted. "In May this year, I met an old school friend, we talked for hours and texted and eventually met up. The chemistry was electric and if it wasn't for the constant text messages and phone calls from my ex, I'm sure we would have ended up sleeping together. "My old school friend lost interest and my ex upped his game to win me back. I agreed but on my terms and for two months it has been wonderful. He's attentive, kind, thoughtful and we have had the best time in bed ever! But, the last few weeks, I have been getting very strong feelings for a guy at work. I have stopped sleeping with my partner because he doesn't do anything for me visually or physically any more, and I can't stop thinking about this guy at work. "Everyone at work knows how I feel about him and I think he feels the same. We always talk and have lots of laughs but also losts of flirting and innuendo!! The only problem is he is married! He says he's not happy but I'm not sure if I should try and go for it with the guy at work or stop it before anything serious happens and concentrate on my relationship at home. Any help/advice would be welcome."

Anna says: You are potentially walking from one emotional minefield straight into another here. Slow down, take a breath and pause to think about what it is you want in your life, in the bigger picture kind of way. I’m assuming you want a stable environment for you kids, and a place where they feel safe and secure, with people they are comfortable around? If this is the case you need to be focusing on establishing a good communication level with the father of your children BEFORE you start leaping from one guy to the next.

These men have spotted your vulnerability and are making approaches because this is the optimum time where their advances will work. A needy woman is not going to turn her back on a guy who is suddenly paying her attention by blowing kisses, regardless of his marital situation. Open your eyes to the situation as it really is before you make an emotionally costly mistake.

By all means be flattered by the attention your married colleague is paying you, but do stop to think about the kind of man he really is. Imagine yourself in his wife’s shoes, because that is the role you will fulfil if you become involved with this man, whilst he continues to flirt with other colleagues in order to ease his emotional boredom. Make it a priority to sort your own emotional needs out before getting entangled with anyone else’s.

Useful information
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Anna Martin is a qualified life coach and also an experienced listener to people's problems. If y...

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