I Cannot Quell My Anger Towards My Father Longridge
I Cannot Quell My Anger Towards My Father
"It's not really on topic with this site, but I didn't know where else to turn. I'm having problems with my estranged father, who I have not spoken to in more than six years. About eight years ago, my parents divorced because of my father's adultery and alcohol dependancy, which in turn led to years of mental and physical abuse, unfortunately directed solely upon me. "Five years ago, when entering university, I discovered he had taken or stolen my university fund to pay his own credit card debts and take a vacation - when questioned he said he needed a break because of all the "stress caused to him by the divorce". The money was in an account in his name, as is the case with many savings funds for small children, however both he and my mother paid into it. The final total would have accounted to around $25,000. "Five years have passed, and now I have graduated university, married and now have a beautiful daughter. However the birth of my child seems to have made me more angry towards my ex-father - I simply cannot understand how he could do that to me as such a young person, and now my anger is starting to consume my time, especially as the credit crunch is placing more and more pressure on me to pay back the huge debts I ran up in going to university. "I feel the money is gone forever, however its my anger i am more concerned about. I need to find a way to put this behind me and move forward, but I just don't know how. I really would appreciate some advice on how to get over this, I don't want this anger and bitterness to be a problem in our lives any more."
Anna says: Congratulations on not being your father’s daughter. Through your own self-determination and ability to open your eyes to reality you have been able to deal with all the harshness, that unfortunately has come your way. As a result of your personal strengths you have also been able to bring up, nurture and support a child of your own without continuing the pattern that you grew up with, which is not often the case in families where drink dependency is a concern.
You have every right to be angry with your father, and to want answers to the questions you have. However, it is extremely unlikely that you will receive these or be able to accept whatever explanation you are given. What you must not do though is let this anger fester, and in order to do this you are going to have to detach yourself from the painful memories and experiences of the past, so that you can move forward feeling a free woman.
By all means seek counselling support, if this helps. Your aim should be to acknowledge the hurt you feel, accept it and release it. This will enable you to continue the rest of your life starting with a clean slate. For some people breaking away from family members is the only solution, and if maintaining no contact with your father helps you then you must do this. Your priority, in this situation, is to ensure that you are able to live a day-to-day life without f...
RSS Feeds
