Dad Treats Me Like a Child—I'm 22 London

"I'm a 22-year-old female. I still live at home with my dad. We get on fine until I say I'm going out with friends, boyfriend etc. He doesn't let my boyfriend stay over or let me stay at his. He controls my life. I wish he would realise I am 22 and not 12. I've tried talking to him but he just yells at me. What should I do?"

Anna says: Your dad has your best interests at heart, but what you also have to remember is that he is a little envious of the fact that you no longer need him in the way that he needs you, and that you are creating your own life whilst his remains somewhat stagnant. You can try explaining to your dad, in a calm manner, that you are now old enough to take control of your life. In order to do this successfully however, you need to be able to show your dad that you are acting in a mature and responsible way.

When you are at home with your dad make the most of the moments that you share together, so that he begins to realise that you don’t take him for granted. You can also use these moments to suggest new sociable options for your dad to try out, so that he beings to live his own life again and therefore loses interest in keeping tabs on yours.

If your dad is a fairly chatty guy encourage your friends to spend time with you at home, so that your dad becomes familiar with the people that he feels are replacing him in your life. That way he will be able to see your friends are not a threat to his relationship with you. The most important thing to remember though is to keep communication open, even when your dad is venting his frustrations verbally.

Useful links
Father daughter communication tips
Oprah: Father daughter communication
Ebook: Dads and Daughters

Anna Martin is a qualified life coach and also an experienced listener to people's problems. If you would like a confidential consultation on personal coaching, you can contact her at mylifesupport.com .

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